How do I explain homosexuality to my kids?
If your kids are 10 or younger
For some parents, this topic can be even harder to address than sex. It’s important that you pray for wisdom before entering into this conversation, because sometimes our own fears or apprehension get passed onto our kids. As this conversation will look differently for each child, and as it will need to happen at all different ages, we’ll look at this in two sections.
Disclaimer: This discussion is by no means complete. Nor are we attempting to make sweeping statements, or pigeon-hole anyone. What we’ve written is based on years of research, talking to literally thousands of parents annually, and personal experience. We encourage you to pray over this issue and seek wisdom from God about how to have this conversation with your kids.
Kids 10 and under:
- Even before you have this conversation, make it a habit to affirm your child’s gender with positive phrases such as “isn’t it so great that God made you a little boy (or girl) who loves adventures and play outside?”
- Gender confusion amongst young children is on the rise, with children’s books featuring confusing sexual information being distributed to schools and public libraries. If your child is in public school especially, it’s imperative that you are aware of the books they are being given. Resources such as My Two Moms can be severely damaging to your child’s sexual identity.
- Use the Bible to start the conversation! We encourage you to use examples from the Old and New testaments, especially as many pro-homosexuals argue that God’s intolerance for homosexuality was strictly from the old covenant. Some good examples would be Leviticus 18:22, and 1 Timothy 1:10. (We use ESV, KJV or AMP translations)
- Affirm and praise the way God created sex – between a husband and wife within a covenant marriage (also see our other article on Talking to your 8 year-old about Sex). Express your sadness that some choose to do it a different way, a way God clearly says isn’t the way He intended. If someone close to you or your child is openly gay, take the time to pray for them together. Pray that God’s love will overwhelm them, and they will walk in the truth of God’s word for their life.
- Guardians of Purity by Julie Hiramine, offers tremendous help in giving you practical ways to affirm healthy sexuality and gender. (For parents with kids of all ages)
- What’s the Big Deal. Your child may not be ready for this whole book, but their parent/child question and answer format chapter titled “What is Gay” would be very helpful.
- For girls and their changing body, check out our Beautifully Made Series. They explain body change and starting your period, all from a godly, gender-affirming perspective. We suggest doing this mom/daughter. (Ages 8-13)
- For boys and their changing body, we highly suggest Lintball Leo’s Not So Stupid Questions about Your Body. (Ages 8-12)
- Secure Daughters, Confident Sons is a great resource that directly addresses how we can bring clarity and affirmation to our children in today’s “gender blender” culture.